Review - The Tourist (2011)

OK, so I know the main reason for this blog is to post my reviews of the IMDB Top 250 list and expand my knowledge of film but I watched a movie yesterday and simply had to give my opinion.

Why on Earth did these two versatile and respectable actors sign up for this piece of crap?!? OK, so there's the money but they could at least think of the dent in their reputations too. And maybe they'd always wanted to work with each other but they could have held out for something that won't go straight into the bargain bin at Blockbuster. I only bothered with movie this because my girlfriend, Sophie, had been visiting Venice at the time of production and she happened upon Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie filming 20 meters across a canal from her and wanted to spot the scene when we watched it. Wow, were we disappointed.

For those who know nothing about this movie, it is a spy thriller based around the mysterious and beautiful Elise (Jolie), the mistress of a mafia accountant who steals 2 billion before going on the run and undergoing facial reconstruction surgery. He communicates through cryptic letters, sending her on a train from Paris to Venice and persuading her to set-up an innocent bystander by making the gangsters and police think that he is the real Alexander thus letting them be free to start a new life. Enter Frank (Depp), an American tourist travelling after the death of his wife, who Elise chooses for the set-up. But, of course, they fall for each other and he gets involved in a world of espionage and danger. The only thing the characters (and the audience) have to figure out is: who is Alexander? Oh, and WHY THE HELL AM I WATCHING THIS?

Now, I won't give that away just in case you still want to watch it after reading this but don't be surprised when you see the credits roll and think to yourself that you've seen better twists in a Pulp Fiction dance-a-like contest where all the participants were paraplegics. The story doesn't flow, the acting is emailed-in (I won't give them as much credit as a phoned-in performance), there is no chemistry between the leads whatsoever and why are Paul Bettany and Rufus Sewell even in this film? It was uninspiring, at times ridiculous and never at all captivating. I only hope Angelina and Johnny learn something from this: respect yourselves, please.

Movie - 4
Film - 2

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